Morris Grey, perhaps ...

You will be relieved to hear that, as of Monday evening, a bottle of red Zinfandel is safely ensconced in our pantry (I am!). Given the level of stress and lack of any time in our lives, the earliest chance we might get to open the bottle will probably be Election Day.

Did I mention that there's a State Law prohibiting alcohol sales while the polls are open? No? Well, now you know.

In other news (*so many* other news!), we are closing on our new OLD (1912) house aka The Money Pit on Monday, at 1 p.m.. So, by about 2 p.m., we should be the owners of a home with one single grounded outlet, vermiculite insulation in the attic, and some sort of hardwood floor underneath grimy carpet. Did I mention that the Eighties called and said they want their bathroom back?

Oh yes, pictures will follow.

I have my contractors lined up already: Most importantly, the electrician is coming on Friday, various hardwood floor guys on Thursday and Friday, and the bathroom guy (please let him be competent!) on Thursday, too. Then we will scour the town for smelling salts because I am guaranteed to keel over when I see their estimates.

Of course, first comes the painting, with VOC-free paints, of course. I swear I can tell you the name of every single shade of green, yellow, taupe, and orange Dutch Boy, Martha Stewart, Behr, and Sherwin-Williams produce. I can also explain to you just about anything to do with William Morris wallpaper or the Arts and Crafts movement because if you're buying a little house that was built in 1912? You have responsibilities. Want to paint your living room mint green? The art history Gestapo might start your file. Use subway tile in the bathroom? They will show up at your front door and take you to their Baroque room, where you will be forced to stare at fat naked little angels among swirly clouds for the next 3 years. Responsibilities, you see.

So, right now, I'm looking at having the ceiling papered with some paintable embossed tile wallpaper. One wall in the living room and one wall in the bedroom will most likely have some out-there wallpaper or mural on it because, hey, we're going all out here. The front room and the dining room will be welcomingly green, the living room cozily taupe, our bedroom some sort of lavender-and-tan, and TBIK's Man Cave whatever-rest-ish. What will be Little Miss Kickboxer's room is currently light blue with whitewashed clouds on the walls and just perfect for her. The kitchen? Probably yellow to orange, and the bathroom blue/green/whatever matches the existing vanity because whoa! Have you ever priced bathroom furniture? Now, *that* will give your heart muscle a workout!

So, in other words: It's coming. The whole crazy ohmigoshwhatdidigetmyselfinto project is coming.

Have we talked about the basement yet? No? It's probably good that way, too.